Happy New Year.
I'm the asshole at the movie theatre that runs to get a massive plain pretzel while everyone else is chowing down harder than ever on butter with some popcorn. Might I add, I received a giant Cuisinart mixer for the holiday season, which beats the hell out of Christmas '06s gently used computer chair. Onto the recipe.
Ingredients I
1 packet Fleishmann's traditional yeast
1 1/2 cups very warm water
1 tsp white sugar
Ingredients II
5 cups white flour
1/2 cup white sugar
2 tsp salt
2 tbsp oil
Ingredients III
1/2 cup baking soda
4 cups hot water
Seeds, seasonings, herbs, etc -- to top pretzels
Empty the contents of your yeast packet into a cereal bowl with the water and sugar. The "Traditional" style yeast will take about 10 minutes to get all creamy-looking.
In a bowl (OR YOUR MIXER), mix together Ingredients II together, minus the oil. Once your yeast is ready to go, make a well, and add in your oil and yeast mix.
Mix together well/knead until a dough forms. It will be fairly light, and a little sticky -- just like a pizza dough. Depending on your humidity, you may need to add more water to this.
Lightly grease a big bowl and put your dough-ball inside. Cover with Saran Wrap and let sit in warm digs, until it doubles in size (60-75 minutes, again, depending on humidity)
Heat your oven to 400F. Line two baking sheets.
Divide dough into 12 pieces, roll into little balls, and begin rolling out that dough. Forming a pretzel ain't hard, but the music featured in this quick tutorial is too punk rock not to share.
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Get your hot water and baking soda from Ingredients III in a big bowl. Give each pretzel a quick dunk and place on your baking sheet. Sprinkle with salt/seasonings/herbs.
Any awkward bits of dough left? Tired as fuck from all that kneading and rolling? Turn the remaining dough into square little bites. Good enough.
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Bake for 8 minutes on the dot.
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