Carob Zucchini muffins.

I like a good baking challenge, see. My chum digs avoiding white sugars, flour, soy, and caffeine. So, I whipped up these mini muffins. There's none of the previous ingredients mentioned, no oil, and maple syrup is used in place of sugar.

Ingredients I
1 cup oat flour*
1/4 cup coconut flour*
1/4 cup carob powder
1 1/2 tsp baking powder
3/4 tsp baking soda
1 tsp pumpkin pie spice

Ingredients II
1/2 tsp pink Himalayan salt dissolved in 1 tbsp hot water
1/2 cup unsweetened applesauce
1/2 cup maple syrup
3 tbsp milk alternative
1 banana

1 cup grated zucchini (one medium zucchini) 
Optional -- up to 1 cup nuts, dried fruit, seeds

Preheat oven to 350F. Grease up or line your mini muffin tin(s) - these make 2 dozen.

Combine all of Ingredients I with a whisk.
*Flour subs can sometimes come into contact with other garbage in the manufacturing facilities, Arrowhead or Bob's Red Mill carry all sorts of great stuff and label clearly what's what. Always check the labels if you have a gnarly intolerance to, well, anything. If you don't have a serious allergy, and are just looking to sub a whole bunch of white flour with an alternative.

In a blender or Magic Bullet, combine all of Ingredients II.

Incorporate your wet mix into your dry mix, plunk the zucchini on top, and mix up. Stir in any add-ins at this point. 

Fill tins 3/4 full and bake for 15-18 minutes, until a toothpick can come out clean.


I've tried making kimchi a few times. Recipes asking you to sweat the cabbage. Recipes telling you to jar all that guhness for 7 days straight without cracking the lid. They've never worked out nicely for me. In fact, the last time I had attempted kimchi, it grew a beard faster and more heartier than even the most metal of metalheads. I've adapted this recipe from my pal, Angela, and am really happy with the results. This batch ought to make about 6 cups and cost you around $5 to make.  Please note, this isn't fermented, as I await the hilarious foodie shitstorm telling me I just made a heap of spicy coleslaw. But I mean, they manage to call Big Macs 

1 head napa cabbage - washed, with the two outer leaves removed, and sliced.
1/4 cup kosher salt

1 bunch scallions, chopped as you'd like
2 carrots, grated
1 four-inch chunk of daikon, grated

1/3 to 1/2 cup rice vinegar
3 tbsp chopped garlic
2 tbsp minced ginger
1 tbsp Lite Kikkoman soy sauce
2 tbsp white sugar or agave
2 tbsp toasted sesame seeds
1/2 cup Korean red hot pepper powder (I used this brand)


Place sliced cabbage in a large bowl. Dump all the salt on top and massage into the leaves for a minute. This will help quickly remove moisture from your leaves, and your cabbage will shrink down by about 50%. Let sit for about an hour.

Set aside your other vegetables in a separate bowl.

Place everything else in a blender/Magic Bullet, it'll make a paste.

Rinse your salty cabbage mixture well, with cold water.
Mix everything together, with some gloves! Massage the paste into EVERYTHING.

Eat straight away, or wait a bit for the flavours to sink in.
Store in a ziplock bag, plastic container, or what have you.

I picked up my hot red pepper powder at Arirang Oriental Food Mart in Winnipeg, Manitoba for $6.99, tax included. It's located at 1799 Portage Avenue. EVERYONE there was so friendly and helpful. If you're in the city, I'd definitely check them out, it's worth the trip. Oh! There's a real nice bike shop next door, too.