Homemade Clif/Simply Bars? No bake Maple almond protein bars with hemp + chia seeds.


Going to Bulk Barn is a thing all us Canadians do. With coupons in hand, and the very "secret" sampling, Bulk Barn in an investment of hard earned time, money, and metabolism. Everyone knows to start off at the farthest aisle, the snack aisle, and work your way toward the spelt flour and hemp milk, and all that other hairy, scary hippie munch. Well, that hippie munch section is my favourite section. Between the obnoxious assholes with oxblood lipstick who developed their severe gluten intolerance last month, to the old folks with legitimate life long food intolerances that I would love to gently high five and provide top notch pericare to, that section's got my name plastered all over it. Around this section, you'll swim through a big ole scene of energy bars. Some are vegan, others have those damned modified milk ingredients snuck into the midst of the listings. I love Simply Bars. I love the occasional Clif Bar. I love Lemon Luna Bars. I don't love spending $3-4 on them. I mean, I still will, when push comes to shove, but I ought to whip something similar up in the kitchen on this rainy day off, no?

Ingredients
1 cup rice cereal, smashed quite a bit
1 cup soy crisp cereal, smashed quite a bit
1/2 cup oat flour (or blend large flaked oats in a blender until a flour-like consistency is reached)
5 tbsp maple syrup
3 tbsp cashew butter (blend roasted cashews on their own for several minutes, until you get a natural nut butter consistency)
2 tbsp raw, shelled hemp seeds
2 tbsp chia seeds
1/4 cup toasted almonds, chopped
2 tsp vanilla bean paste
Optional: protein powder of your choice

Combine all the ingredients in a bowl, and place into an 8x8" baking dish lined with parchment paper.


Press down with a spatula. Place plastic wrap over top of the whole shebang and smash it all down, compact and flat. That last manchild you datedbabysat for a while? SMASH IT UP. Your extended family who prepared you salmon sandwiches because they've well-versed in the wonderful world of veganism? Elbow drop those corners. That one (of many) dude who seems to only dig your once-in-a-blue-moon portraitures on Instagram, but doesn't give a hoot about your cookin'? Give'r, give'r, down the river!

Once pressed down a heap, refrigerate for at least an hour. The more you compact these fellas, the easier they will be to slice up, and the less likely they will be to fall apart. Rad refrigerated or frozen. 



Natural vegan peanut butter cup smoothie.



Caffeine doesn't kick it in the sandbox with me, I'm vegan, and I like peanut butter cups. Enough to make your head spin, no?

Ingredients
2 cups unsweetened vanilla almond milk
6 ice cubes
2 tbsp natural nut butter
1 tbsp carob power
1 tbsp chia seeds
1 tbsp unsweetened, flaked coconut

Blend for 2 minutes, let sit in the fridge or freezer for 5-10 minutes, top with more coconut and chia seeds.


Spicy citrus roasted brussel sprouts, cubed tofu & potatoes.


Underrated and easy peasy. Spicy citrus roasted brussel sprouts, cubed tofu and potatoes.

1 dozen brussel sprouts, halved
1 dozen baby new potatoes
1/2 block pressed tofu, cubed
2 tbsp olive oil
2 tbsp orange juice
1 clove garlic, minced
Celery salt 
Crushed hot pepper flakes
Pepper

Preheat oven to 400F.

Mix together everything in a bowl and place on a baking sheet, flat-sides down for potatoes and brussel sprouts.

Bake for 30 minutes. Flipping the tofu the about after 20 minutes.

After the 30 minutes, increase the oven's temperature to 450F and bake for another 15 minutes.

Everything will be done at the same time, promise. Crispy, citrusy, spiced quite alright.