Homemade Clif/Simply Bars? No bake Maple almond protein bars with hemp + chia seeds.


Going to Bulk Barn is a thing all us Canadians do. With coupons in hand, and the very "secret" sampling, Bulk Barn in an investment of hard earned time, money, and metabolism. Everyone knows to start off at the farthest aisle, the snack aisle, and work your way toward the spelt flour and hemp milk, and all that other hairy, scary hippie munch. Well, that hippie munch section is my favourite section. Between the obnoxious assholes with oxblood lipstick who developed their severe gluten intolerance last month, to the old folks with legitimate life long food intolerances that I would love to gently high five and provide top notch pericare to, that section's got my name plastered all over it. Around this section, you'll swim through a big ole scene of energy bars. Some are vegan, others have those damned modified milk ingredients snuck into the midst of the listings. I love Simply Bars. I love the occasional Clif Bar. I love Lemon Luna Bars. I don't love spending $3-4 on them. I mean, I still will, when push comes to shove, but I ought to whip something similar up in the kitchen on this rainy day off, no?

Ingredients
1 cup rice cereal, smashed quite a bit
1 cup soy crisp cereal, smashed quite a bit
1/2 cup oat flour (or blend large flaked oats in a blender until a flour-like consistency is reached)
5 tbsp maple syrup
3 tbsp cashew butter (blend roasted cashews on their own for several minutes, until you get a natural nut butter consistency)
2 tbsp raw, shelled hemp seeds
2 tbsp chia seeds
1/4 cup toasted almonds, chopped
2 tsp vanilla bean paste
Optional: protein powder of your choice

Combine all the ingredients in a bowl, and place into an 8x8" baking dish lined with parchment paper.


Press down with a spatula. Place plastic wrap over top of the whole shebang and smash it all down, compact and flat. That last manchild you datedbabysat for a while? SMASH IT UP. Your extended family who prepared you salmon sandwiches because they've well-versed in the wonderful world of veganism? Elbow drop those corners. That one (of many) dude who seems to only dig your once-in-a-blue-moon portraitures on Instagram, but doesn't give a hoot about your cookin'? Give'r, give'r, down the river!

Once pressed down a heap, refrigerate for at least an hour. The more you compact these fellas, the easier they will be to slice up, and the less likely they will be to fall apart. Rad refrigerated or frozen. 



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