suck it, mcdonalds

After taking a gander at some food styling and photoshopping food, online - I suddenly became incredibly inspired to not do any of that. I made up a breakfast sammy and made use of the flawless natural lighting that 10+ inches of snow provided me with.

This recipe isn't healthy, it's not even easy on the eyes. But after seeing KFC's double-down and barfing in my mouth a bit, I caved for whatever reason and made this stupid mess. I said "ugh" so many times when making this.

This doesn't require much a recipe, take a gander at the pictures and read below for some basic direction.



Open-faced, to see all the everything.

OK, so this is an English muffin, kinda-dry-fried "Torfurky" slices, cheese-sub, and two slices of tofu as an egg-sub. I put a tiny bit of vegan mayo to add some artery clogging grossness. Go big or go home. 


For the egg-sub
About 1 tsp oil will do, or 1 tsp Earth Balance for the sauteing. Dry rub your firm tofu with tumeric powder and ground coriander. Begin sauteing it 'til you see some golden-brown action happening.


For the bacon-sub
Grab some Tofurky slices, I took a slab (that sounds ghastly, but it really was a slab off the pre-sliced oven-roasted variety) that had TWO slices stuck together, I then sliced 'em into 6 er so strips. If there's only one slice, your bacon-sub won't be as chewy. I used the same pan as I did for the egg-sub so there's still some fun shit in the pan. I kinda-dry-fried it in 1 1/2 tsp of soy sauce AND maple syrup and kept flippin' the slices til they began browning. The liquids will stick to the bacon-sub like shit on a blanket so using the pan after the egg-sub is made will definitely help out some. Once removed from the frying pan it'll firm up some.

Toast the English muffin, get some vegan mayo all up on that, get your vegan peely cheese, and consider bettering yourself.